The "Too Busy" Myth

I’ve said it. You’ve said it. We allllllll say it on the regs.

“I’m just too busy for ____________ right now.”

While I do believe that being busy is real thing, I don’t see it as an excuse to not do something you really want to do. Because if you REALLY wanted something, you wouldn’t be too busy for it. And trust me, I’m not throwing shade at you. Let me use myself as the prime example.

For the past month, I haven’t written a single blog, posted on Instagram, or written to my email list once. When my family would ask what I’ve been up to, I’d just respond and say something super dramatic like, “Ohhhh well I’ve just been soooo bizzyyyy working on the house!”

While telling myself that I was “too busy” to read a book, write, or make something besides ground beef for dinner, I was spending countless hours painting window trim.

We make time for what’s most important to us.

For the last month, I’ve chosen to spend time working on the house, because it was more important to me than most of my to do list. I could’ve totally written a blog instead of painting a 3rd coat because I found one small error (#recoveringperfectionist).

But I’m not saying I was wrong or made a bad choice in doing so. It’s important to me that our new house feels like home, without blue tape everywhere and the smell of paint in the air 24/7. I’m definitely not saying it’s wrong to prioritize certain things, I’m just saying we (er… I) shouldn’t blame it on the busy-monster. If something is TRULY important to you, you’ll make the time.

However, I also know that just because you make the time for something, doesn’t mean it’s automatically going to happen. What if you’ve made the time, but don’t know what to do next? Or you make a plan and just can’t seem to stick to it?

The Four Tendencies

I’m going on a slight tangent, but I promise it’s gonna make sense. The Four Tendencies is a framework created by the brilliant Gretchen Rubin, and is a picture of the four typical ways people respond to expectations. This is a VERY brief overview, but click the link above to get the book-it’s amazing and eye-opening!

Obliger: The majority of people; need outer accountability to meet expectations.

Upholder: Can meet both outer and inner expectations.

Questioner: Can meet inner expectations, but questions outer expectations until they agree with the reasoning.

Rebel: Resists both outer and inner expectations.

Want to know your tendency? Take the short quiz here!

So why did I go down this rabbit hole? Because the reason you might not actually be doing what you want to do is because you don’t know yourself that well. And instead of facing that fact, you just use the “too busy” line and call it a day.

But if it’s important to you, you’ve made the time, and still can’t seem to stick to your goals, you might be using the wrong approach. For example, if you’re an obliger (which the majority of people are), but you have no outer accountability, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Or if you’re a rebel in a 9-5 job with little freedom, you’re probably not gung ho about doing tasks ordered by your boss, right?

If you get to know your tendency, you will know how to better support yourself. Almost all of the people I’ve worked with have been obligers (they all take the quiz), and they’re always so surprised at how well they stick to the plan we make together. They almost always have “failed” at their food and workout plans in the past, and are amazed at how much easier it is to follow through when working with me.

This framework applies to health, work, relationships, and more, which is why I highly recommend finding out what your tendency is, so you can learn how to set yourself up for success in meeting expectations in all areas of life.

So the question is… are you REALLY too busy? Or is the thing you “want” actually not that important to you? Or are you just setting yourself up for failure to begin with?

Get to the root of it, because what you want is worth it.