Self Care Vs. Selfishness

Thanks for the best socks ever, Heather!

Thanks for the best socks ever, Heather!

Ooooooh buddy do we have a hot topic for you TODAY!

#selfcaresunday is all the rage right now. And while it seems “cool” to self care these days, I can still feel the permeating attitude of superiority from those who “don’t have time” or “are too busy” or even feel like it’s “selfish” to take time for themselves. So I want to get into what exactly self care is, and how to differentiate it from selfishness.

Let me just start by saying this… there is a fine line here, and I don’t know the right answer. But I’m going to share my perspective, and if it doesn’t align with what you believe, you can take it or leave it.

What do you think of when you hear self care? A pedicure? Face mask? Girls day?

I don’t think any of those are wrong, but I’d like to expand what our view of what self care is, aside from the usual things we tend to think about.

I believe self care is not an activity done on a certain day of the week, but small choices that we make every single day in order to care for our well being.

Why wait until Sunday to love yourself? That means that you’ve just been surviving all week, probably not living your best life. Taking small steps to ensure your mental, emotional, and physical health will enable you to love others better, do your job with excellence, and reach your goals more easily. That ain’t selfish if you ask me.

Here are some things that I view as self care.

Mental/Emotional Health:

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  • Stress management techniques

  • Set boundaries with those around you

  • Learn how to say no/ask for help

  • Express your feelings in a healthy way

  • Set realistic goals (read more here)

  • INVEST IN YOURSELF! Time, money, energy, etc.

  • Speak kindly to yourself (read more on that here)

  • Do things you enjoy EVERY DAY

    • Read

    • Meditate or journal

    • Paint, draw, doodle

    • Go to Target alone

    • Play with your kids or dog

    • Garden

    • Watch a movie

    • Move your body

    • Paint your nails

    • Take a bath

    • Write a letter

    • Take photos

    • Help a friend

    • Connect with people you love

    • Clean/organize (if you’re weird like me)

    • Sing, play an instrument, listen to music

    • Get something on your to-do list done (you’ll feel so much better after)

    The list goes on and on. There’s no one way to do this.

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Physical Health:

  • Eat food that makes you FEEL GOOD

    • Please make sure you’re eating enough

  • Eliminate trigger foods

  • Drink enough water

  • Sleep at least 8 hours a day

  • Eliminate toxins as much as possible (read more here)

  • Move in a way that you ENJOY

    • Walk, hike, run

    • Yoga or pilates

    • Dance, swim, play sports

    • Work outside

    • Lift weights

    • Ski, snowboard, ice skate

    • Go for a bike ride

    • Rollerblade with a big ole scrunchie in yo hair

    Again, there are so many ways to take care of your body. And you don’t have to do them all perfectly every day. Just make sure that each day there is SOMETHING that you are consciously doing to care for yourself.

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However, I must make one caveat before you go. And I say this with love, not judgement. Be sure to check where your heart and attitude are at if you notice yourself acting like this girl to the left. Not to say that you have to “earn” your self care, but also don’t use it as an excuse to run away from your responsibilities on the regs.

You can adult AND self care.

Lastly, to those of you who feel like you “don’t have time” or are “too busy” to care for yourself, that is your prerogative. But please, don’t take the rest of us down with you. There is no need for you to brag about how hard you’re hustling, or how good of a mom you are that you don’t even have time for yourself. We can all make whatever choices we want to, but we definitely do NOT need to shame others for the choices they make.

And to the sweet girl who thinks she doesn’t deserve self care? You are loved. You are valuable. You are human. And that is enough to care for yourself. But I do encourage you to seek guidance to help you work through the challenges.

Friends, mamas, wives, sisters, please make time for yourself EVERY DAY. Let’s change the narrative to #selfcareeveryday, because this world needs you. And you can show up better for the world when you’re taken care of first. #selfcareisselfLESS

How did you self care today?

Lexie GrayComment