The One Thing Worse Than Change
Could there POSSIBLY be anything worse than change? The discomfort and uncertainty can be almost too much to bear for some people. And I’m not throwing shade at those people by any means. Some of us embrace change and like the excitement that it brings to our lives. Others see it as an obstacle or nuisance to their contentment.
I typically fall on the side of embracing change. Now, there are some things that are difficult for me to embrace. For example, when I’m teaching and get off schedule or something goes awry, I’m not the happiest about it. And I definitely have some OCD tendencies that can make me less than flexible. But I’m growing in this area. Hence my stance. I want to constantly be changing myself for the better. I want to always be pursuing things that challenge me.
Of course, it’s nice to feel comfortable and confident. But I honestly don’t feel that I grow in that type of situation. I grow in the hard ones. I get smarter when I’m struggling to learn anatomy and physiology. I get stronger when I’m rejected by potential clients. I gain experience when I offer wellness seminars. If I don’t allow any of these changes to happen, how will I ever achieve my goals?
I’d bet that almost everyone would agree with the fact that we grow as humans through change. But do you actually live your life in a way that allows that to happen? Do you have a positive mindset when change comes around? Or do you resist it with all your might? We do not all need to have the same perspective about this. But one thing I will challenge you to think about is this.
What would be worse: to change right now, or to be exactly the same five years from now?
If you want to know my worst nightmare… that’s it. If I were to go on with my life, and not make any growth, any difference, any progress? I’d never forgive myself. But it is NOT always fun. Embracing change doesn’t mean I’m always like, “Yeah, awesome! I get to go to this really awkward event and talk to strangers!” I may not enjoy change sometimes, but I sure do acknowledge its power to make me a better person.
So if you’re resistant to change, you’re not alone. It is a process to alter your mindset around this aspect of life. But here are a few small steps you can take to get you started on the road to embracing change.
Change your have-tos to get-tos. Instead of saying something that you HAVE to do, shift your language to say you GET to do it. For example, “I have to take this class for my job” can be shifted to “I get to take this class so that I can do my job more effectively”. Small shift, big difference.
Reframe discomfort. When you’re uncomfortable in a new situation, recognize it and acknowledge what you’re feeling. Your feelings are valid, but you cannot let them control you. Once you’ve acknowledged your feelings, reframe your THOUGHTS, just like we did in the first point. For example, instead of “I feel like an outcast and don’t want to be here anymore” you can try thinking “I feel uncomfortable, but I’m going to look for one person that I can make a connection with today”.
Journal. This can be one of the most powerful things in changing your mindset around anything. Write down what your fears are about a certain change. Don’t judge yourself for anything you write. When you’re done, go back and read them objectively, and notice if what you wrote is true, false, likely, or unlikely. Sometimes we don’t realize how unrealistic our fears actually are until we see them written down on paper. You can then journal again using the two former points about shifting your language around change.
Get help. Possibly the most powerful thing you could do to to grow in this area would be to ask someone for support. Whether it be a professional who can really help you get to the root cause of your fears about change, or just a friend who can hold you accountable and make sure you’re journaling once a week, the impact of having someone stand by you through this process can be enormous.
There are many other strategies you can try in order to shift your mindset around change. And I’m still working on it every day, because this is hard stuff. But what I know for sure is that all the uncertainty and discomfort WILL be worth it.
Five years from now, I’m going to be a much better me. Will you?