So You Want a Balanced Life?

Why Chasing After “Balance” is Jamaican You Crazy

There’s not much that I love more than debunking a good myth. Not that I PERSONALLY debunked the myth about balance. But when I started listening to people talk about this topic, it truly changed my perspective on SO many things. So I feel obligated to share it with others, in hopes that you, too, will benefit from a new point of view.

So why isn’t balance real?

1. Let’s think about it. When someone says, “I really wish I could have more balance in my life”, what they actually mean is, “I really wish I could do all of the things really well all of the time”.

Anyone resonate with that? Because in our culture, we are expected to do a laundry list of items that no single person could possibly complete, without losing their mind, that is. ESPECIALLY for women. Here’s a short collection of things we “should” be able to do perfectly all the time:

• Parent

• Work

• Exercise

• Cook

• Clean

• Volunteer

• Socialize

Like I said, a SHORT collection. And we’re supposed to do all of these things while looking perfect and having perfect children and making the perfectly healthy and delicious meal to bring to the church gathering.

Gag. Me.

This is not balance. Because even if you somehow manage to pull off all of the things, I can pretty much guarantee you’re not getting enough sleep and/or your mental health ain’t at its peak.

2. The definition of balance is: an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

Have you ever played a game of Jenga that didn’t end in a pile of wooden blocks crashing to the floor? I’m guessing not, because that definitely would’ve gone viral by now. When we continue to pile more blocks on top, while also removing some of the vital pieces of the foundation, it’s only a matter of time until things get ugly.

Such is life. And don’t get me wrong, it sure would be nice if my job, family, friends, cleaning, cooking, sleeping, exercising, traveling, and self-caring would all be evenly distributed so that I could “remain upright and steady” if you know what I mean.

But that’s not real life. Real life is demanding. And you’re probably not going to say, “Okay, family, I know it’s time for dinner, but I’ve already spent my allotted time on preparing food today. So we’ll just have to wait until tomorrow.”

REAL LIFE IS IMBALANCED.

Not only our daily tasks, but also seasons of life. When you start a new job, you’re probably going to be putting way more time into learning your new role than meal prepping. When you have a baby, you most likely won’t have the same amount of energy to put into socializing as you used to. And for some reason, we feel guilty when we put “too much” energy into one area or disregard others.

So how do we get rid of the guilt and embrace the imbalanced life?

Acceptance is the First Step

Here’s what I’m proposing. How about, instead of trying to do all of the things all of the time, we accept the fact that with different seasons of life, we have different priorities. And that’s okay. Just acknowledging this fact did wonders for my mental health. I no longer felt like I was doing something wrong when I skipped a workout or was a bad wife for asking my husband to cook dinner—again.

Another way to change your mindset around balance is to realize that if you want to change your focus, YOU CAN! You are not a slave to one project for the rest of your life. You do have the power to decide what you want to spend your time and energy on. But you must first acknowledge that you can’t do it all. Like you literally can’t even.

Because what is truly making us crazy is the belief that we “should” be able to have balance in our lives. We think that other people have it (newsflash—they don’t!) and it makes us feel inferior for not being able to do everything we want to do.

So friends, I’d like us to change the conversation from balance to fulfillment. Instead of, “How can I find balance?”, let’s ask, “Am I fulfilled by how I spend my time and energy? Do I enjoy my daily activities? Is there something I would rather be doing to bring me more joy?”

I sure as heck don’t have a balanced life, but I do have a fulfilled one. And I want you to be fulfilled, too.

Schedule a free Discovery Call to talk about how I can help you reach your goals and love your imbalanced life at the same time.