3 Reasons You Don't Like Body Changes
You’re probably reading this blog because your body has changed at some point in your life. Well, I have good news for you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You’re alive!!!
As long as you’re alive, your body will continue to change. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, till death do you part. And, much like a marriage, your body will be with you forever, so you want to treat it right, right?
But that doesn’t mean you will be wearing the same jeans you did in high school. Treating your body like you did in high school probably wouldn’t end well. Just a guess.
Aside from your looks, what else has changed about you over the years? Your likes, dislikes, hobbies, home life, job, responsibilities? You’re surely a different human being in so many ways, why do you expect that your body wouldn’t change with you?
I’d like to explore some possibilities about why so many of us feel negatively about these changes.
We idealize certain body types.
You know the type I’m talking about. The thin, but not too thin, kinda muscular, but not masculine, 5’6” girl. Sound familiar? If you haven’t already, go ahead and read Don’t Tell Me I Look Good. I got so much positive feedback from you all on this topic, and I go much more in depth in that post. But to sum it up, our culture has instilled in us the belief that our appearance is the most important thing about us. Girls are told from the day they’re born how pretty they are and grow up seeing unrealistic body ideals everywhere they go. So of course, as adults, we still believe this is true, and try to make our bodies look like a swimsuit model’s. Not to mention, social media makes this body comparison way too easy. One touch of the Instagram icon and you’re on your way to self-loathing-town. You instantly see and endless stream of “ideal” bodies, and wonder why you’ve never been able to look like that. But don’t forget, you’re seeing the absolute best photo of at least a dozen shots with an excellent filter. When you look in the mirror, you have one angle and #nofilter. Go easy on yourself. And read this blog on Negative Self Talk while you’re at it.
We’re expected to do it all.
In America, we are very blessed to have the freedoms that we do, but that does not take away from the insane expectations that are placed upon us. You “should be able to” be a mom, a CEO, a PTA member, and a part time yoga instructor, all while maintaining your six pack and also leaving time to make cute, little, healthy snacks in the shape of hearts for your kids lunches. GAG! This is not possible. But because we place these expectations on ourselves, we are disappointed when we don’t have enough “willpower” or “motivation” to “lose the last ten pounds”.
First of all, I can hardly take care of myself and my dog. Second of all, even if we did somehow fulfill all of the outward and inward expectations placed upon us, when would that leave any time for us to ENJOY LIFE?!
We play the “health card”.
I’d like to bust the myth right now that losing weight=more health. Just because you’ve gained some weight, doesn’t mean you’re less healthy. In our society, it’s “the smaller, the better” mentality. THIS IS NOT TRUE! Do you know how many underweight, malnourished women I’ve met in my life? You can be just as unhealthy (if not more) at a smaller size (losing your period, hair, sex drive, appetite, sleeping poorly, mood swings, anxiety, etc). Can there be health issues related to weight gain? Of course. But let’s stop blaming the weight for the issues. When our bodies are stressed, there may be something deeper going on that is causing the body to hold onto weight. Hormone imbalance, inflammation, chronic stress, lack of sleep, dehydration, etc can be some of the root causes behind weight gain. Maybe the weight is just a symptom of a bigger issue. Or maybe you were unknowingly starving your body for years, and now you’re eating appropriately and NEED the weight gain. Or could it be that you’re going through a really difficult time, and your body wants to keep the “extra” weight in order to feel safe? All this to say, your body size doesn’t determine your health status.
I must also make one special aside for my mamas out there.
I am not a mother, but I have so much respect for what your bodies have been through. And not just through pregnancy and labor, but the postpartum period is insanely stressful! Not only have you been through this traumatic event, now you have to go home and take care of a tiny human who takes all of your nutrients away and leaves you with no sleep, a huge appetite, and no energy to do anything for yourself.
On top of THAT, you also have the societal pressure to “get your body back”. Please excuse me while I go on a rant about this.
YOUR BODY NEVER LEFT.
Your body went through hell and back. And probably back again. Your body is incredibly strong and resilient. You gave birth, are possibly breastfeeding, not sleeping, maybe even working, but oh, wait, you should probably focus on losing that baby weight.
WHAT. IS. THAT. GARBAGE.
I’m not yelling at you, friend. I’m yelling at them. They. Whoever came up with this insanity.
And then it seems like there’s some magic time frame that everyone thinks you should be “back to normal”. I could be wrong, but, doesn’t having a child mean you’re kind of a mother for life? Why would your body immediately go back to what it was after such a life changing event? Maybe this is your new normal. Or maybe your body just wants you to chill the heck out and let it heal in it’s own time.
This next part goes for everyone. I’m NOT saying you shouldn’t want to change your body. You are allowed to want whatever you want. But I challenge you to think about why you want to change. Is it really for you, or is it for everyone else? Do you want them to applaud you for fitting back into your old clothes? Maybe you think certain bodies are better than others? Do you think you’re “unhealthy”? Or is it because you think you’ll feel more confident in a different body? I’ll tell you right now that’s not how it works. Even at my “leanest”, I still had body image issues. Confidence comes from within, not from what you look like.
What I’m proposing today isn’t some revolutionary idea. I’m just encouraging you to embrace the body you’re in right now. It doesn’t have to be that way forever if you don’t want it to. But don’t hate your body for changing. Stop fighting it as if it’s you against your body. It’s serving you as best as it knows how. Remember, you’re spending a lifetime with the one you’ve got, so let your body grow with you, and try to be nice to it. Don’t listen to diet culture telling you to stay small and shrink into the background, literally and figuratively.
One last thought. Why do you think women are encouraged to be small? I think it’s because
they know how powerful we’d be if we spent all our energy doing what we’re passionate about.
Don’t waste your life worrying about what you look like. That’s keeping you small in the saddest sense. Take up space. Live big.
Instead of trying to change our bodies, let’s try to change the world.